I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
