She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
