he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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