no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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