dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize