how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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