I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize