Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
