The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
