we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize