I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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