He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
