their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
