btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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