Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
