Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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