So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i'm inner monologue high
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
