HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
