For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
