Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
