TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
