but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
