yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
