I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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