Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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