Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
