He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
