is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
