"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
