You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
