That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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