you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
