Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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