fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
