that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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