the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
