Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
