Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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