My first STD was from a foam party
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
