I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
