can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
