you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When are your genitals available?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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