hell yes lets make some ravioli
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
