We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
