Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
