maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
