i permit you to call me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
