why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize