There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
