One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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