I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
