My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
