Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
