I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
