Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
