Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
