Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize