Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
