I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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