i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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