Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just pee around me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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